Choose your habits.

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I’ve noticed lately that I, along with some others, tend to shy away from the things in our life that are difficult or challenging.  As I look back at some of these complications that I deal with in my life, I find that often they occur in areas of personal weakness.  With even more thought, I began to conclude that reoccurring misfortune in these areas is a good indication that I need to focus more intently on developing the skills required to overcome some of my natural shortcomings.  We all have widely different variety of skills that come naturally to us, and in contrast to that, we all have concepts that we don’t excel at.

I figure the best course of action when I’ve identified flaws in myself, is to set up a detailed set of actions that I can use to adjust my character.  Bad habits are difficult to break, but it is the ability of the human mind to develope habits that ultimately gives us the ability to adjust our thoughts and actions, and maintain those adjustments over time.  In order to do this we must first be fully aware of what exactly we are doing to cause the unwanted results.  It might be a negative thought that we continually associate with a particular person, place, or activity.  It might be particular words we use repetitively when talking to a certain person, or about a specific topic.  Either of these can bring general unhappiness to our life that exceeds the logical need for sadness.

In the case of a continuing negative thought, we might feel stress or uneasiness at work each day we walk in the door.  First off, if this is the case, we might consider what occupational choices might avoid this feeling from arising.  However, in situations where your option to pursue a different career is not available, the feeling of unhappiness is no longer logically necessary.  At this point, it is only making your life more difficult to spend your day with discontent.  It will more than likely affect your relationships with coworkers and strangers, even friends or family, in a negative way.  So here is where we start to develope the habit that will allow us to make a change.  Slowly force yourself to focus on the positive aspects of your job.  These will more than likely involve the reasons why you haven’t up and left already: you make a good living for yourself and your family, your job is close to home, you are developing skill you wish to use in other areas of your life.  Whatever the reasons may be, if you continue to replace the negative, with positive, you will start to develop a habit of viewing the situation in that way.  We all know how long it takes to develope bad habits, well the good news, is that good habits are just as easy to create.  In areas of your life that have turned out happily without effort, it is because you subconsciously developed good habits that avoid difficulties others might experience . Once the habits are created, the work is over.  All there is left to do now is enjoy the results of your effort, as the good habit starts to become more and more who you are.

In the example of particular words or tones that are being used in discussion with a frustrating person or topic, I’ve noticed that many times people say things that unintentionally cause situations of difficulty.  You might have a struggle with someone you talk to on a regular basis, simply because you are failing to present your thoughts in a way that consistent with their perspective.  Now, Im not saying that we shouldn’t say how we feel, but sometimes how we say it can make all the difference.  To overcome these challenges, we need to identify what is needed to relate, and understand that individual.  Try to mimic the tone or verbage an individual uses to communicate their ideas with you, while accurately maintaining the concept that your are trying to convey.  It is challenging at first and takes time and effort, but if we develope the habit of relating to others in this way, soon we develop a skill that is very valuable.  As we get more and more practice, the process of identifying people’s perspective, and communicating with them accurately, becomes second nature and takes less time.  Take the time to learn  how to communicate efficiently with the people you interact with, so you can prepare specific tone and language quickly in conversation that avoids a negative perception of you from others.  These are just simple examples of how our pursuit of habits can make our life easier.  If we invest our time into developing these mental systems, our habits will do the rest of the work for us.  I try to prioritize my stress, and work on the issues that cause me the most unhappiness first.  The things that you choose to focus on are completely up to you, but remember that you are not a victim of circumstance unless you choose not to act.

Related Articles

• Truth About Bad Habits – How They are Acquired (socyberty.com)
• The importance of enjoying the habit (zenhabits.net)
• How to Create Daily Habits as Consistent as Brushing your Teeth – Life Evolver (lifeevolver.com)

 

We need, to love.

  I had a great conversation with a close friend of mine recently and it brought to light something that I think is very important to human psychology.  

 People seem to have this idea in there head where they either have to be the stereotypical example of a perfect citizen, or else they have to rebel against all form of conformity and be exactly who they are without regard of responsibility.  It is important to understand that we cannot exist happily without both of these concepts.  

There are parts of our existence that are necessary for survival.  Food, shelter, good health.  These are all critical things that we receive from being financially sound.  Although money can be the root of many stressful situations, it is also the life blood of our society.  As all of us know, having financial security comes from acquiring a job, which I would assume 90% of us consider a burden.  Even though working is not the ideal human condition, it is simply a necessity of life.  Being critical of our lives and planning effectively early on can help us find a more personally rewarding career, but none the less, most people don’t love work. 

I feel like many of the problems we endure from our lives can bring us down when we act out in two different extremes.  Neglecting responsibilities all together is one way, and neglecting the things that truly bring us joy is another.  It is vital that we all participate daily in activities that satisfy our own personal pursuit of happiness, not only activities that bring us security in our existence.  

Although this concept is not difficult, identifying when we have moved away from balance is very hard.  It is extremely easy to get wrapped up in the pursuit of financial superiority, and just as much so, easy to disregard all responsibility.  The difficult path is to maintain a healthy involvement in both.  Even though this path can also be challenging, it is necessary for true happiness.  

Balancing these concepts takes a great amount of self awareness of your own personal goals, so I challenge you all to take large amounts of time to discover your own personal ideal for life.  If you don’t know where your balance is, there is no possible way that you can obtain it.

 

Is a lack of solution a possibility?

Is it possible that earth, the universe and life exist in a way that has no finite solution for complete happiness.  Man kind has developed an overall attitude that everything in the world should be better than what it is.  If this thought continues in the majority of people, we will never find peace upon its own planet.  

Looking back through evolution of the human nature it is obvious to see that man has continuously pushed to progress past his current state.  While I think this has provided humankind with a multitude of technological breakthroughs, and a much increased standard of living, it will ultimately be the mentality that destroys mans ability to sustain life here on earth. For every action that happens on this planet, there is a ripple effect of its impact on the world around it.  As prehistoric man used resources from his environment, the natural cycles of nature were capable of processing the impact people made, but as humans have progressed technologically, the impact has become increasingly more significant in multiple factors.  Both the rate in which resources are used, as well as the risks involved in retrieving resources have increased in relation to the increased advancements in technology.

 So back to the ripple effect to illustrate the point.  With oil for example, what was once viewed as the most beneficial discovery, turned out to be the most devastating discovery of all time.  Wars, Taxes, Pollution, Corruption.  What else do you need evidence of to justify a dislike for oil.  One single internally combustible engine gave rise to the most necessary evil of all time.  A problem that even modern man can not solve. 

So now we see why an increased need to consume resources is a problem, but the solution that I keep hearing is why don’t we just switch over to renewable resources.  While I think there are many good alternatives for fuel other than oil, I don’t necessarily think that we can say with confidence that these resources are entirely renewable.  First off, it takes resources to build structures that harvest renewable energy, and as well as being monumental in size, damns like 3 Georges Dam have huge environmental consequences as well.   On top of that, who knows what the potential is for problems if  humans cover 25% of the world in solar panels, put up 50,000,000 wind turbines,  create hundreds of thousands of dams.  All of those products take energy out of the environment so we can use it as electricity, energy that eventually would have been used by the planet in a different manner.

 Almost anything that is implemented with excess use is damaging.  It seems to me that without reducing our resource consumption, there is no solution.  Oh, but what a different life it would be if we weren’t robbing our planet of all the elements that make our materialistic world possible.